


This Isn't How it is in the Movies

by ROTwhyler



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Gen, Humanstuck, Mild Language, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Other relationships mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 10:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ROTwhyler/pseuds/ROTwhyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Karkat thinks things are going to work out in his favor, they end up turning out a whole different way. This isn't how it is in the movies at all. But of course, that's not necessarily a bad thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't How it is in the Movies

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! Swifty here, and I apologize for the long absence. I was away from my laptop for quite a bit. But I'm back! This doesn't mean that I'll be posting fanfictions left and right though, because I haven't been in a very fanfiction-y mood lately. But do expect more additions every now and then though! ^u^

The moment my eyes fell across her serene form, I knew I had to talk to her. I didn’t care how many sweat stained bodies bumped into me or how many elbows to the face I might have to take, but I was going to get her attention.

Okay, so let’s backtrack a bit.

That morning, or more so, that evening, I woke up to the soothing sound of my best friend pounding wildly on my front door. 

“Sollux, what the ever loving fuck do you think you’re doing? It’s like – !”

“Two in the afternoon, dude.” He had cut me off, which didn’t exactly make me any happier than I already was, but his words caught me off-guard. I took a double-take at the clock, my mouth tightening in irritation. I absolutely despise sleeping in. “Karkat, I’ve been trying to call you all day.”

As if I didn’t believe him, I turned without a word and grabbed my phone off the kitchen table, which is where I must have left it before passing out sometime last night. Flipping it open – yes, it’s one of those shitty flip phones, you try buying an iphone when you work a shitty job at Burger King – it does indeed have the words ‘THIRTEEN MISSED CALLS’ blinking across the screen in bold text, as if it’s urgent. “What the hell is so important that you have to blow my phone up?” By the time I turn back towards him, he’s already inside the shitty apartment that I’ve somehow ended up in, closing the door and throwing his jacket onto my ancient couch. There’s cigarette burns covering the surface and stains here and there.

“We’re going out tonight.” The look I give him is one of pure disgust at the idea, one of my eyebrows quirking upwards, questioning him.

“Dude, look, you know I don’t swing that way - !”

“No, dumbass! I mean you and I are going to a club!” Cutting me off seems to be his specialty this morning.

“We’re going to a club.” I repeat his words in disbelief, needing to confirm them myself to make sure I heard him right. He nods vigorously, grinning with those crooked-ass teeth of his. “Sollux. When did you ever hear the words ‘hey, let’s go do something that involved social interaction in small, cramped spaces’ come out of my mouth? That’s right. Never.” With a wave of my hand I dismiss the idea, but he doesn’t lose that glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Man, come on! We never do anything anymore!” I roll my eyes and turn, heading towards my room so I can get out of these grimy clothes and into clean, fresh ones. Of course, Sollux follows without batting an eye.

“We never did anything in the first place.” The floor creaks beneath my feet as I walk, and the door squeaks when I nudge it open, having closed it in irritation when I woke up to Sollux’s knocking. “Dude, I’m getting dressed, get out!” In a more playful way I shove him out, slamming the bedroom door in his face. The soft creak of the protesting wood gives away the fact that he’s leaning against the door, most likely with his arms crossed and his eyes staring at the ceiling as he further tries to push the idea of going clubbing with him.

“Karkat, you know I don’t ask much of you. So please, this one fucking time, let’s actually not be social outcasts and go somewhere! You don’t even have to talk to anyone, just hang out at the bar or something!” My sweatpants get thrown to the side along with my old t-shirt as I furrow my eyebrows.

“You’re not making it anymore appealing.” Off go my boxers, and on with new, clean ones.

“Dude, I just need someone to go with! Do me a favor, just this once! I want to meet people and get laid. Lord knows you could use a good fucking. So what’s the harm in going out at least once in your sad, pathetic life?” I swing the door open, watching him flail and try to grab onto anything he can as his body plops to the ground face first. My arms grab at my sides as I laugh, gasping for breath after a few moments. That was a thing he definitely deserved, and it sure as hell put me in a better mood. “Yes, very funny, let’s fuck up my mouth more than it already is.” He props himself up on his hands, groaning.

Once I catch my breath and he’s back on his feet, I cross my arms over my exposed chest and give my best unimpressed look. “So you expect me to let you drag me to a bar so you can meet chicks and get laid while I wait at a bar and get shitfaced drunk, drowning in my inner turmoil?”

“Yes, exactly.” He gives me his best unimpressed look to.

My shoulders sag in a defeated manner and I sigh. “Fine. Fine! Whatever.” A big grin plasters itself across his face as he fist pumps into the air.

“Perfect!” He looks me over, and then pushes me back into my room. “Now go get dressed, idiot.”

And that’s how I ended up here, watching this girl from across the room. The only thing between us is a dance floor. The option to not do anything and just sit here by my lonely self with a beer is always available, but her long black hair is too alluring. Still, it doesn’t quite close the deal – shit, she noticed me looking at her. Our eyes meet for a split second; her green ones to my brown ones, and she flashes me a smile with buck teeth. That’s when I know I’m hooked; I have to talk to her. Nothing can keep me from her.

It’s as if she expected me to get up too, because she flips her hair in an inviting manner and turns her back to me, giving me just enough to want so much more. Beer in my hand, I start weaving through the dance floor. Bodies sway and spin around me, bumping into me occasionally, soliciting curse words from my mouth. I even spot Sollux with a girl wearing a ridiculous cat hat, dancing circles around him while he drunkenly tries to keep up. Looks like I’ll be the one driving us home tonight, if he doesn’t go home with that girl.

My feet start to step in time with the beat to the music that fills the air, which I don’t fight against in any way. For some reason I feel more confident that way, as if I’m some badass in one of my favorite Romcoms about to sweep the girl of his dreams off of her feet with some incredibly adrenaline inducing music playing in the background. I grow more excited when I realize that I could actually be that guy at this very moment, I could be the main protagonist, with good looks and a good job and – Fucking shit, I ran into her.

Beer spills out of the bottle in tiny droplets, and she squeaks while I swear. Okay, so maybe it won’t go over that smoothly. “God dammit, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, I was too busy thinking and…Dammit, I’m sorry.” We both scramble to sit on the seats closest to us, waving our hands about wildly and tripping over apologies and words.

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry about it! Really, no big deal, you didn’t spill anything on me so it’s okay! I mean, even if you did I wouldn’t be upset, it’s just a dress, I can always buy other ones…” A beautiful dress. One of a kind. Actually, there’s probably five other ones just like it at the local Wal-Mart. But it looks like one of a kind on her. “…What’s your name?” I stop focusing on her dress and instead stare into the drink in my hand, rubbing my fingers on it nervously.

“I, um, it’s Karkat. Karkat Vantas.” I still don’t look into her eyes, but I can feel her looking over me. I’m imagining a small smile twitching at the corner of her lips, her bright green eyes twinkling with curiosity. She’ll think I’m handsome, and I’ll buy her a drink even. Then after we talk for another hour or so, I’ll take her outside and kiss her once, and then get her number. I’ll call her the next morning and she’ll answer, and we’ll set up a coffee date and from then on it’ll be happily ever after. That’s how this relationship thing works, right? A soft poke to the arm brings me back to reality.

“Karkat, did you hear me? I asked if you wanted to dance.” Shit, this wasn’t on the agenda. I can’t dance. I don’t know how to. From the way she giggles, it’s obvious that she knows exactly what I’m thinking. “I’m not exactly a dancer either, but I just figured that’s what you’re supposed to ask a cute boy you meet at the bar.” My cheeks and ears burn with a blush, which only solicits more giggling from this mystery girl. Mystery girl. I don’t even know her name.

“Uh, dancing. Yeah, sure, I guess.” Leaving my drink there on the counter – it’s warm now anyways – I stand up, waiting for her to do the same. Instead of grabbing my hand and leading me to the dance floor after a slow, romantic song starts to conveniently play, though, she just walks away with yet another flip of her hair, a fast-paced Britney Spears song making me cringe. Somehow, though, I feel only more entranced by her being and follow without a second though, standing close to her as we start to feel the beat.

Not a dancer my ass. I’m not saying she’s amazing at it, but she doesn’t even hesitate before spinning and starting to sway. A few simple shakes of her hips, some side-stepping and more spinning and she’s got me dancing along, a flustered expression on my face the whole time. She’s laughing, which only makes me laugh a bit. “I’m Jade!” Her words come out of nowhere, catching me by surprise and I almost trip over my own feet a little.

“Jade.” I have to try the name out for myself, rolling it over my tongue experimentally. “Jade what?” Her brows furrow but she doesn’t stop moving.

“Just Jade.” Mysterious. A bit cliché, but hey, who am I to judge?

“I like it.” What a stupid thing to say. So unoriginal. While mentally kicking myself, I start to spit out more dialogue, not wanting our almost-conversation to end. “So Jade, um…Do you come around here often?” Oh god, this isn’t like one of those good movies. This is like one of those cheesy ones. This would be the part where the greaser leans up against the wall, trapping the goody-two-shoes girl with his body so she’s forced to speak to him, but for some horrid reason, she likes it, even enjoying the cigarette smoke invading her nostrils and lungs. Luckily, I’m able to actually catch her words this time.

“Nope. First time I’ve ever been here, actually. And by that, I mean this state.” Pausing her words, but not her body, she adds on, “I travel a lot.”

“I was about to say, I, uh, haven’t ever seen you around here before.” I haven’t ever seen any of these people before; I’ve never even been to this bar. I hardly leave my own apartment unless I absolutely have to.

“I wouldn’t expect you to remember me either way.” She says simply, and I’m so tempted to tell her that she’s wrong. That I don’t think I’ll ever forget her face. The way her hair is somewhat less alluring close up because it’s easier to see the frizz and knots, and the way her buck teeth look crooked and uneven. Her glasses are smudged and there are blemishes here and there on her face. But all of it makes her that much better, which feels kind of strange. Strange in a good way, of course.

That’s basically the rest of the night. We dance for a bit, and then we head back to the bar. I offer to buy her a drink, but she declines, claiming that she doesn’t drink. I ask if she wants to go outside for a cigarette. She agrees to head out with me, but it turns out she doesn’t smoke either. It makes smoking feel like a vice, so I end up not doing it anyways. But we do lean against the back of the building. I’m thankful for the fresh air, happy to not be surrounded by all the bodies anymore. Jade seems to be enjoying it as much as me.

“…Look, uh. Do you need a ride home, or something?” After a few moments of awkward silence, I know I have to break it somehow, so I go ahead and offer her the thing that most guys would offer the attractive girl they’re with.

“Nope. I’m staying at the motel just down the street from here.”

“A motel? That sounds shabby.” Not knowing what to do with myself, I shove my hands into my pockets and look at her curiously.

“It is, but I’ll be leaving soon anyways.” How does this not trouble her? I can’t imagine moving around all the time. Is she homeless, is that it? No, she can’t be. She looks like she has money.

“How long have you been here?” I ask her.

“Three weeks.” She answers.

“Where are you going?” I throw another question at her.

“A place, somewhere. I don’t move around because I have to, but because I want to. I don’t really like staying in one spot for too long.” She throws another answer at me.

“Oh.” I’d love to tell you that this is the part where I pull a total Romcom move on her and offer her a place to stay, where she excitedly accepts and I take her home and we have sex and she ends up staying with me for the rest of forever. Happy ending, whoop-dee-fucking-doo. But I hate to break it to you that that’d be a lie. This is the last time I see Jade. She thanks me for showing her a good time. I offer to drive her back to the motel again, but she tells me that that’d mean leaving my friend behind and that that’d be a bad idea, since he seems kind of drunk as shit. I ask how she knew I arrived with Sollux, and she says that she watched me walk in with him.

Hesitantly she starts to walk away, but I stop her and ask her if I’ll see her again. She answers with probably not, which doesn’t surprise me too much. But it does disappoint me. I tell her that I want to see her again, and she replies with the fact that she’s heard that one before. This also doesn’t surprise me. So I tell her that if she wants to see me again, to stop at the local Burger King before leaving tomorrow.

“I don’t eat fast food.” She states simply. I tell her that she doesn’t have to order anything, but instead can just sit there and talk with me. Not many people want to just talk to her, apparently. At that I chuckle and tell her that I’m not surprised, which makes me cover my mouth and start sputtering out apologies because that didn’t come out the way I wanted it to at all. But instead of slapping me and storming off like I expected her to, she just laughs with me and tells me that it’s alright and that she knows what I meant.

And that’s where we part ways. A kiss to my cheek and a maybe to stopping at the Burger King I work at. She turns and walks away, and I watch with a smile on my face for a few seconds before turning and heading back into the building. I might never see her again, and that makes me sad inside. I don’t think I’ll be able to forget that face of hers for a long time. But I suppose now isn’t the time to focus on that. Instead, I weave through the dancing crowd and find Sollux practically falling all over the girl with the cat hat, who looks mildly annoyed.

Muttering an apology to her, I sternly grab Sollux’s arm and start to drag him away, but the girl follows, introducing herself as Nepeta. She’s kind of cute, with red hair falling over her shoulders from that cat hat on her head. Feeling compelled to ask, I offer her a ride home, and she gladly accepts, thanking me for it when we enter my car. Sollux almost instantly passes out in the backseat while I chat with her the whole drive to her place, which is about twenty minutes from the bar. Apparently her friend Vriska had brought her there, but left with a big, buff guy about an hour ago. I called the Vriska chick out on her bitchiness, to which Nepeta laughs. Upon arriving at her home, she invites me inside, but I decline, saying that I have to work tomorrow and that I actually need to go because someone important will be there. I forget to mention that that’s only a maybe.

Nepeta quickly scrawls her number onto my hand with a pen though and leaving in a hurry, her freckled face in a pink blush.

I’m forced to practically drag Sollux into my apartment, and I let him crash on my couch, since I’m a good friend and also in a rather good mood. Why wouldn’t I be? The outing was a success, and honestly, maybe people aren’t always that bad after all.


End file.
